Imperfect Angel
by Perished Hope
Summary: Rin decides that staying in the Bathhouse will only degrade her already darkened future...


Imperfect Angel  
  
By* Perished Hope  
  
This is a story in honor of Rin, the character from Spirited away that I think was ignored the most. Kudos to you, Rin, you're much better then the spirited away audience finds you as.  
  
(---**---)  
  
Most of the time, when you are in the heat of crowds, bustling your way to get to wherever you wished to get to, you ignore everyone who is around you. We are all like that, you'll catch a couple of verses of information that someone said, something that stands out, and piece together many conversations into something so ridiculous you simply begin to smile.  
  
The memory is everything, if you couldn't remember, where would existence be? All creatures would be primitive, because there would never be fear, you wouldn't be capable of remembering that pain or death may result from it. Thoughts would have to be so simple. . .never to be complex.  
  
Maybe its not just remembering to survive, even simple things like when you're walking through the boulevards, your memory flickers back to a scene in one of your school classes where the boy next to you imitates the obese girl to your right secretly snack on a chocolate bar, he mocks how she enjoys to eat, and how she eats the bar itself. It makes a smile spread across your face-your good instincts know that its wrong to laugh at that predicament, but you simply can't help yourself.  
  
Whether we are blessed or cursed with memory, images like phantoms began to cast upon the mind of one individual. She was of this world, yet she was beyond this world, as the light is within all things, yet beyond all things. She had mousy-brown hair and a flat, expressionless look on her face all of the time, and even when she smiled it was enough to make people ignore her. She was a normal person. Her name was Rin.  
  
She wore tacky closes, and she was as close to a slave that one could get. She had to be working, or she would be killed. Workers were in excess in the Bathhouse, Yubaba always had someone begging her for a job, or so it seemed. Rin was expendable. . . Yubaba could always get new workers.  
  
She wasn't anything special. She knew it, too. All her life she was told that she was nothing, and she would amount to nothing. In the end, it didn't matter. Life was work, and work was life. They were one, so she had been taught from the first day she was able to comprehend.  
  
Normal.  
  
Many say there isn't such a thing, but in some rare cases, there is. A normal person, this is what Rin was. Rin didn't have big adventures; Rin was a human with strengths and weaknesses.  
  
Normal.  
  
She was somewhat happy that she wasn't anything out of the ordinary. She wasn't in love, but she wasn't in lust, either. She kept her head together, despite the abuse Yubaba and her workers put her through. She was a strong- willed adult.  
  
The day Chihiro . . .Sen left was the day in which Rin felt a sharp feeling of loneliness, and a pang of jealousy. This child, this ten-year-old child, has so much more then she could ever have. She's done more then Rin could ever do. She has only begun to live . . .yet she is still so much more then what Rin is.  
  
Rin lowered her head, and when she brought it back up, her face was hot, like embers were burning just under her flesh. She was jealous of the child. Chihiro would never know how it was like to be nothing. To never have a chance to be anything but nothing? Rin shook her head, and the memories of that girl's face faded from her mind, and her anger subsided.  
  
She wouldn't let it get to her. All her life she was told she was nothing, and she will always be nothing. She had come to believe it, and deal with it. Her friends were changing, and she was being left behind. She knew it, and all she could do was step back and watch. She wouldn't interfere with the lives of others. It simply wasn't her place.  
  
She would look at Chihiro and Haku, and feel the jealousy burn at her insides again, ripping her apart like she had chugged a container of acid . . .it burned away her heart so dead. Chihiro was ten years old, Haku was an eternal spirit . . .what could he have seen in that child? Rin didn't understand love, and deep inside of her, she knew she never wanted to understand it.  
  
She knew she was a lower creature then all others in the Bathhouse, but she wouldn't let that get her down. She wouldn't be like all of those depressed teenagers she would read about, who had more self-pity then they had life force. She knew sorrow would past, it always did, and there was no reason why it wouldn't this time.  
  
Yet, she found that whatever it was that was making her hollow inside, not even she could identify. Maybe it was loneliness. She couldn't be too sure. Maybe she didn't want to know . . .  
  
It took her a moment to analyze her situation, she found she had too much time to sit and think about herself. She needed to do something, something she would be remembered by. Chihiro left an imprint like sand on a beach in everyone's hearts, Haku's especially, and Rin longed to do something of the sort as well. She felt it was almost impossible, but she knew-staying at the Bathhouse would do her no good.  
  
She made her way to her quarters, analyzing all of the steps she would need to start a new life, somewhere with hope that she could hang onto. She was young and strong, and she knew (in some strange way) staying at the Bathhouse fogged her good future, sending it to the trash.  
  
Her thoughts black, a dark shadow was on her face, almost making her eyes look non-existent. She had money saved up from the mishap with Kaonashi that happened when Chihiro appeared. Gold was valuable during those days, and she may be able to buy a train ticket from the gold she had congregated.  
  
Her first obstacle would be somehow having Yubaba grant her permission to leave . . .or slipping past her, clinging to hope that she wouldn't be noticed. Either way, she was condemning her life, but in some light, she knew it would work out. Somehow.  
  
Rin leaned against the balcony of her quarters, and the breezes that blew off the sea flowed through her hair, making every strand electric. The smell of salt filled her nose, and the sight of the sun rising burned her eyes. Night was still enveloping the western sky, but she knew . . .somewhere . . .somewhere out there . . .there was somewhere she could belong.  
  
Nothing could stand in her way of her ultimate dream.  
  
(---**---)  
  
I'm not sure where I'm going to take this fanfiction, but by all means, I shall try. Please review it, I appreciate all complements and (constructive) criticism. 


End file.
